Four Letter Words in The Horse World (Humor)

Dr. Mike Guerini (

The other day I was speaking with a friend who had never spent much time around a horse barn. He asked me share the day-to-day routine around the barn. I was in one of my odd humor moods (as a scientist we have weird humor days) and told him…well it is not for the faint of heart – there are quite a few times we use four letter words around the barn. We even use these four letter words at the branding pen, in the arena, when we take horses from one place to another, when the farrier visits, and even when the vet comes around.

This friend looked at me in shock and said, “I never realized you all had such foul mouths.” He proceeded to give me a lecture on how sad and bad it was that we all used curse words and that we needed to have our mouths washed out with soap. He said, “I am not sure I can hang around you if that is how you all talk.”

Well at this point, I could not keep from laughing. He looked at me in horror and I decided it was time to tell him about our four letter words in the Horse world.

You see I told him. “We train all our horses to WALK, TROT, and LOPE so that they know each GAIT. We spend time training our horses to WORK a GATE and get used to a ROPE. We use a COMB to groom them and put on a leg WRAP most days. We HAUL to a SHOW, SORT cattle, JUMP in the arena and there is one class we call HUNT seat. When the veterinarian comes, we let him give a SHOT and talk about whether the horse might have a WORM. The farrier uses a NAIL to put a SHOE onto the HOOF.”

At this time he shook his head and said to me – I think that helmet on your head must be squeezing to hard cause if you think this way your brain is damaged.

I said – “This is not brain damage….it is my LIFE. I enjoy this lots and now I am off to RIDE my PONY next to the RAIL.”

I hope this gave you a quick laugh and helped you all realize how much fun we have around the BARN.  I sure wish I could STOP…no wait I want to HALTWHOA — time to get off this crazy fun writing and get back to the FARM.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and I hope it made you laugh.


Dr. Mike Guerini is a clinician, author of multiple Horsemanship books, co-inventor of the Equine Hydro-T and specializes in western performance based instruction and you can learn more about Dr. Mike and his 6 C’s of Horsemanship at  Dr. Mike is also part of Coach’s Corral (, an online Horsemanship Coaching program that specializes in video coaching and the 5 Ride Program.  Dun Movin Ranch is also home to the Equine Hydro-T (


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